The Wrong Way
I have chickened-out. My idea to seduce my step-daddy fell short. I barely slept last night going over all the ways I could seduce him today. I am convinced that he and I will fall in love. I pace and I imagine his face when I peel down my top and reveal myself to him. I won't just be revealing my breasts, but my soul. I will confess my love for him and--- the doorbell chimes interrupting my thought. I scrunch my brow as I wonder if Daddy forgot his house key. I open the door will enthusiasm, my heart flutters, it's the day! The day I will remember for the rest of my life. The door shows my best friend, Jill, and she stands with her hand on her hip. My smile drops in disappointment, and then I panic.
Jill pushes by me and sits on the sofa, "We've got to talk."
How do I get her out? He'll be home any minute now, I look at my watch, shit.. he's supposed to be here right now, "now is NOT the time, " I tell her forcing a smile so she doesn't think I'm being terribly rude.
Jill rolls her eyes, her blue eyes are pretty. I never noticed how pretty they are until just now, her rolling her eyes in annoyance and concern, "it's never the right time. What the hell is going on?"
No, I can not tell her. She's my best friend, but she wouldn't understand. "I can't say. You'd die."
"Honestly. I feel like a piece of me is already dying."
What the hell is she being overdramatic here? Doesn't she realize that she is.. my thought is interrupted as she yells, "Whitney! You're my best friend, more than that, you're like my sister.. but no.. not even sister, its not the right word for how much I love you."
I nod. Jill and I have a history, we go back to grade-school, in fact, and she's always been s stage 5 clinger. "I love you too, but I've just got a lot of stuff on my mind."
Jill's tense body relaxes, "Perfect, that's what I'm here for. I'm here to help you through rough times" as she picks up my braided pigtail "...and rough hair days."
The nerve of Jill. She doesn't realize I am doing my hair like this for him. I am sure my step-daddy is into girls with braided pig-tails, as a matter of fact, just yesterday I his history on his computer. An eighteen year old girl was purring "daddy," she was wearing pigtails. It makes me wonder if he wants me, on a subconscious level or.. I hear Jill talking. I try to stop my thoughts from spinning around in my mind. I've got to figure out what she wants, and how I can satisfy her to get her out.
"I'm going through a little bit of a hard time, myself. Ever since our phone conversation yesterday when you told me you weren't going to be my dorm mate, I feel like our relationship is going to die out when high school ends. "I think that you've lost your way, you need me to show you that there is more to just pining over a man you can't have."
"What do you know about my relationship, Jill? It's so frustrating how needy you are. I get that you're lonely but maybe you need to meet more people."
Jill scoffs and looks down then back up at me, "I'm only needy when it comes to you."
The air feels thick. There is a look of hunger in her eyes. She leans forward and I feel my heart begin to race.
"Have you ever thought that your crush on your dad might be because you have a thing for older guys, and that your thing for older guys is because you need guidance."
"I do not need guidance, ok?"
"Well think about it. Your mom was always out partying, leaving you by yourself when you were younger, that had to be scary, right?"
She has my attention, I nod.
"And those guys, your step-dads, one after the other. It was as if you would start to love one, call him dad, and your mom would kick him out, onto the next one. You really liked the last guy, loved him even, and that's okay.. but your mom left YOU this time. She's leaving you and that had to scare you because Chad has no biological reason to stay with you, so now you're trying to force a romantic link to ground him to you."
I'll admit, I'm impressed. Maybe she's onto something? "you've really thought this over," I tell her.
Jill nods, "you know what. I really have. I see the situation clear, and I feel for you. I have this feeling that you're going to fall very hard if he ever decides to leave or even date someone his own age."
"I never considered he would.. he wouldn't.. I mean. I am pretty sure he is attracted to me too."
Jill rubs the back of her neck, I can always tell when she is frustrated with me.
I scoff at Jill, "Did you come here to lecture me about morals?"
Jill slides in close, "I came here to beg you to try something else before you make this mistake."
"You're so certain it's a mistake?"
Jill nods, "If he gets skeeved out by you coming onto him, do you think he'll want to be your daddy? Especially since he's not your real dad and especially since you're 18 now?" Whitney, "Or how about I kiss him, we have wild, passionate sex, and later down the road, we end up husband and wife?" I find myself speechless, and I search my mind to retort, Jill continues, "Youu have NO experience with having a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter and you're already marrying your stepdad in your head?"
"Ok.. maybe I went too far, too fast, but the mad passionate sex is something that I think WILL go down.. I hope."
Jill moves even closer to me, she looks me in the eyes, "do you masturbate?"
I'm shocked, I move back, "what does that have to do with anything?"
Jill, "have you ever had an orgasm?"
"yeah.. If you want me to be blunt, I like to sleep in daddy's bed, finger my little pussy without him knowing.. his big arm around me, his scent, his cock pressed up against my cotton panties..and my hand reaches in and out, fingering my little hole and rubbing my button until I cum."
Jill looks at me in shock.
I chuckle under my breath, "well, you asked.."
"Fair enough. So his arm is around you, and you feel safe right?
Jill, "when you masturbate, to you ever think you get off on feeling protected?"
"No, that's stupid." Jill looks at me as if she doesn't believe me. I can't lie. She is onto something, yet again. I confess, ""maybe it's true, ok.. what are you getting at?"
"I want you to remember me, that's all. I'm your best friend. I care for you. I'd protect you. I love you."
"I know.. love you too," I push Jill's arm in a friendly way.
Jill, "Whitney, I mean it," I see her breathe in deeply, she holds her breath. She looks at me in anticipation for me to answer her. What does she want? She wants me to tell her I love her too? She's a lesbian. She knows I'm not. I've never experimented with girls. Jill learns forward, her whispery voice trembles, "I love you."
I feel something within me stir. I'm so confused. I thought I was in love with my step-father. I thought.. I thought.. Jill puts her hand on my face. I feel my face push into her soft, warm hand. It feels good. It feels hot. It feels confusing.
Jill, "I want to be your daddy."
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